Ulaca Blog of the Year Election Cum Celebration of Nearly Two Years as a Blog Itself Awards

Welcome to live streaming from the UK awards ceremony.

... and now the part that you've all been waiting for, the announcement of the winners in this year's Ulaca Blog of the Year Election Cum Celebration of Nearly Two Years as a Blog Itself Awards. Competition has been stronger than ever this year, with entrants from all over the world, including Burkina Faso, Vanuatu, Wales and Tai Po.

The first category we will be honoring* tonight is Best Blog by a Chef with a Thing for Rather Scary Looking Women with Tattoos. And the award goes to:

Chopped Onions [sound of frying scoops being banged together]

Second up, Best Foreign Blog. There were many worthy entrants in this category, but none that match the blend of Al Gore-baiting, anthropogenic climate change-scepticism and general loony left-bashing of

Ayrdale

Next, a very special award for Best Blog by a Journalist Married to a French Chef:

Joyceyland

Very little competition for the next award. Nicest Blog goes for the eighth year in a row to:

Batgung

The next award is brand new this year and we were certainly not let down by the quality as well as the quantity of the entries. Eventually, though, we had to narrow it down to just one blog. Just edging out Gweipo, the winner of Hardest Blog to Keep Up With Because Every Time You Look At Your Sidebar He's Made Another Post is:

Spike

The next award goes to The Blogger Who's Caused the Most Disappointment by Stopping Posting Thereby Severely Curtailing the Number of Hits Other Blogs Get:

See Lai [cries of "Come back, Ron!", "Oh, yes, Big Boy, mmm, need it!"]

The award for Doggedness In Pursuit Of Clearer Schedules Being Published Well In Advance By Hong Kong's Television Companies (Including, Though Not Limited To, Terrestrial, Digital, Cable and Satellite) goes yet again to:

Ordinary Gweilo

For Least Reliable Bastard For Actually Linking To You When He Says He Will:

Chase me ladies, I'm in the cavalry

For Best Site by a Minority Shareholder Activist With a Surprisingly Droll Sense of Humor**:

Webb-site

Just two more categories to go, ladies and gentlemen, until we come to our final award for Best of the Best. The Ant & Dec Award for Best Blog by a Newcastle United Supporter goes to:

Hong Kong or Bust

Unfortunately, HKOB has been relegated this year, after winning the Sham Shui Po Person's I Love Him-I Love Him Not I Love Him-I- Love-Him-Not Award last year.

In the next category, we have a tie! The winner, oops! winners of the SINBAD Award are:

Evie

and

Lola in Hong Kong

Finally, the one you've all been waiting for. And I'm sure it'll be well worth the wait when our Grand Award Winner is finally unveiled. [drumroll] The Best Blog by an Islamic Woman With a Really Hot Bod and Pencil-eraser Nipples Dying to Burst Out from That Burqa and Be Photographed by Ron goes to

Only joking! Without further ado, the Ulaca™ ® for our top award, the Best Swedish Blog with Links Every Day to the Hong Kong Standard goes to:

Fumier

* Bloody Yankee spelling – how did that get in?

** and that

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